F*%$ IT... (Decisions)


Some days you wanna be better


and some days y


ou just want to get through the best way you know how...


And some days you would just rather not feel anything at all...


but the rush of adrenaline

of all of those behaviors...

They understand you.

They get you.

Better than anyone.

They know how to make it all better.

In one decision.

Then Multiple decisions.


You're constantly on the edge of self-improvement or fuck


.

between what is new and what is familiar.

doing what is comfortable so you don't have to think about it anymore.

Obsess over it.

Shaming yourself for falling back into those old patterns.

Then hating yourself for it.


I don't want to lose myself in theory...

but I know I'm losing myself in time.


ya know.


There's no such thing as changing...


You just make different decisions... better decisions


and over time you hope... that they outweigh the previous ones.


The bad ones


One day at a time.

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