Once I saw you in my dreams...
Color me gold
And I saw the unseen
Pity me now
And don't say that I'm green
Screams in my chest
Oh I know it's obscene
Darlene
Come
But don't get me stoned
Carry my footsteps
I'll guide you home
Love me now
and promise me peace
My heart is a bullet
of all I can't see
- T R U V O N N E
We seek what we wish we had in ourselves.
Fascinating.
Most love in any form: friendship, romantic relationship, work relationship, etc
any kind is usually started by some form of admiration.
Whether in ourselves or in a different reality that we wish we were in.
Sometimes I think love...
is nothing but an illusion, built off of self doubt and insecurity.
Cynical yes, but over thought no.
Compliments are one way to look at it... looking up to a person is another... being in love with someone you adore is another, so on and so forth, etc, etc, etc...
And
This could also be why we feel so enamored when falling in love...
when you meet someone of such intrigue, building excitement and life, new experiences bringing things that you have always wanted now melded into your own now.
Purely In awe.
The life they have lived is not yours and the life you have lived has not been theirs.
They bring something we didn't have.
But they had it.
And so you fall in love.
The euphoria of "you complete me," I feel is built off of that notion.
The balance.
The opposites attract.
The ying to your yang.
And if that ends,
or when it ends
or as we evolve and grow the lessons are le
arned, growth happens.
We all change and become so
mething of that person we did not have before and lose something we did.
... we physically feel sick and empty because you don't feel like you can find or rebuild what you feel like you've lost, but truly it is almost like a baby bird flying on it's own.
You want the security of this new found you
but now you are ready to own it.
Because every person you are with builds something within you that you didn't even recognize you had yourself.
So then you take that piece of admiration and build a version you have for yourself.
You Hold on to it tight until that person let's go.
The cycle continues.
With every new person you bring something out of them that could be the very thing that you started out looking for.
With every part you give... another part is lost.
I wonder what you're gonna say about me when it's over...
You know how we talk about our relationships and our past lives. The good ones. The bad ones. The ones that never made sense. The ones you love. The ones you didn't love. The ones you wish you did love or could love. The ones you miss, the ones you hate, the ones you'll never get over... the ones you'll never get back... The characteristics that being only can carry with one strand of DNA, although irreplaceable, you try. What other choice do you have. You try. I wonder what stamp I'll have on your life. What will you say about me to someone else, when the cycle resets... What emotions will you say that I brought out. What feelings will you say you felt. What phrase will you say started it for you... and what actions you'll say stopped it for you. Will I be a hero or a villain? Passion or Conquest. Will I have been a journey worth while, or time wasted. Will I be the one that got away... or the one you should have left sooner... Would I have been the calm or the storm. The memory or the flashback. The smile... or the heart ache. Will you love me still or just hate me less.
#poetry #prose #love #conversation
